One of the most important reasons to encourage an individual rather than praise them is to empower that individual. If I give you praise then I am telling you that you need my approval, that your worth is determined by me; when you should be able to define your own worth without seeking out approval from another. This seeking approval can come naturally because many of us want our loved ones to value what we think, feel, and do, and wanting the approval of a loved one is not a bad thing necessarily but one can be supportive while encouraging an individual.
Praise is instant gratification; praise is here and gone in a second. “Oh, that’s nice,” the teacher says to the child who just showed them his or her artwork. The child sought attention and appreciation, received a typical response, and returns to their seat. Sure, saying “that’s nice” is a nice thing to say but encouraging statements leave a greater impact and truly shows the individual that you are paying attention.
By saying “that’s nice” the teacher has given the child their approval. That tells the child what they did is important if the teacher says so, reinforcing authority, rather than encouraging positive self-esteem.
(Source: sunlight-chaser, via queerkenosis)
Here is a list of companies that will hire felons. Please share this and repost if you know of people who are looking to better their lives and work.
I have a few copies of “Playboy” from the 1970s stashed away somewhere. One of them has a letter where a guy writes in saying, “I met this really gorgeous, sweet woman, and we were planning to get married, but she sat me down yesterday and told me that she had a sex change before she met me. Mr. Hefner, should I marry someone who used to be a man?” and the response was, “So she had a sex change, big whoop. Would you be asking this question if she’d made any other change in her life before she met you? You love the woman she is now, and that’s all that should matter. If you want kids you can adopt or something.”
I feel so conflicted right now
That awkward moment when Hugh Hefner is more trans-positive than most feminists of the same era.
shit i am tired of
cis people get pronouns. trans people get preferred pronouns.
cis people get a gender. trans people get to identify as a gender.
these are microaggressions designed to undermine and invalidate who we know ourselves to be, and to reinforce the perceived inauthenticity of trans people.
this is always harmful, and for some, primarily trans feminine people and esp trans feminine poc, it can be dangerous or deadly.
Alright ya’ll let me tell you about this hella rad app called sex positive. It was developed by the community health center of the university of Oregon (who’s partnered with the community health center in CU Boulder which is were I’m interning at) and it’s a super wonderful non heteronormative, kink (and vanilla) friendly app that gives a lot of tips and advice on how to have fun clean safe consensual sex. I really recommend it and I hope you love it as much as I do!
(Too find it in the App Store search “sex positive Oregon”)
I object to the word “clean” but otherwise, good resource